OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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