isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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