Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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