About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
