Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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