xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize