Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
