In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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