the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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