With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I came so hard my ears popped.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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