anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
