I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She made me pour olive oil on her.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
