I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
