i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
