i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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