at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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