i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
