jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
