and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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