ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Still dying that you shit outside
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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