I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize