Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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