just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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