the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize