Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
where are you?
Hypothermia
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
