No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize