i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
