yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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