too bad you live with your parents still
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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