i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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