worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
