Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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