Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
