As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
