Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.

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(248): View more from Michigan

My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.

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(602): View more from Arizona

just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish

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(845): View more from New York

The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.

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(541): View more from Oregon

No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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(616): View more from Michigan

thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.

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