Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
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i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
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i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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