A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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