I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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