Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
