i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
