it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sarcasm needs its own font
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
