There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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