The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
