Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
