Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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