i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
