You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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