come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
