It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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