There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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