no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
