Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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