yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
