wat bout pragnant strippers??
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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